For me, this is probably one of the hardest things in my faith that I struggle with understanding. And I freely admit that it is very possible I have this wrong. But I have asked God to help me understand what His intention is with this topic and I have to believe that He will always lead me in the right direction.
I believe that God has specific purposes for everyone in the family. A man has a specific role, a woman has a specific role as do the children. I believe that God does hold the man responsible for his family. But in no way, do I believe that puts the man above and over the woman.
When a man and a woman get married, they become one, which is also described in the Bible. So while the man may be held accountable for his family, he has the absolute best thing in the world available to help him and that is his wife. He has a partner that can provide input, support, advice, whatever is needed. And the husband who ignores that is a fool and does so at his peril.
My wife complements me in a wide variety of ways. She has a great deal more common sense than I do, she’s smarter in some things, and she has a kinder heart than I will ever have. She’s good with our kids in ways I’m not just like I’m good with them in ways that she’s not. I very rarely make decisions without consulting her.
It’s not a power trip for me. I look at my wife as an equal and I rely on her a great deal. But I do believe that there are things God will hold me personally accountable for. So on those things, when the situation arises where my wife and I disagree, ultimately the decision is mine to make. I do believe that. But when I do disagree with her and make a decision that is not something she would do, I try my best to do so with as much thought and reflection as possible. I’m not perfect at this and neither is she, but we both try our best to fulfill what we see our roles in this marriage to be to the best of our abilities.
The reason I struggle with this, is because I see too many men look at this as some type of pecking order, where the wife is to just sit there and listen to his rules and decisions. I hate that and find that such an atypical behavior for a Christian to have. I have two wonderful daughters and the idea of them meeting someone like that and marrying them fills me with dread. So I teach them now what I believe, and hope that when they meet their perspective spouses, they make sure that they understand where he stands on this and if he is one of those power-hungry gentlemen, they can show him the door.
The title of this hub is my attempt at a little irony. I do not believe that God’s Word or His intent with His Word changes. It’s the same now as it was when His Word was written. But, I do believe the society we live in now has possibly opened up our eyes to what His real intent would be. I may be wrong, and I’m sure there are many who think I take being the role of “leader of the house” too literally, or maybe not literal enough, but I believe that I am doing what God expects of me. Right or wrong, the one who will let me know someday will be Him.
NOTE: This was originally published by myself on my old HubPages account on 12/30/2008.